Ah yes. The inundation of Valentine’s Day is upon us once again.
The ads for jewelry, chocolates, flowers and yes, lingerie – has taken over. Happy, shiny people looking upon each other with love and awe. Big, tear filled eyes light up when they see the token diamond ring being presented to them. Awwwwwwwwwwww? Isn’t love GRAND? Everyone on social media expressing their undying love for their partners…gag.
Okay. I’m gonna stop right here and say…I hate Valentine’s Day. Sour grapes? Maybe a bit.
As a kid, everyone at school had the little construction paper envelopes made up so that they could receive Valentine’s Day cards from their classmates. How exciting it was to watch someone plunk one in your envelope! Wait – who was that kid? Are we in the same class? Huh. Then you’d go home and covet them, singling the one out from the cutest boy in Grade 3 (which, you knew was only because his mom made him make them out to EVERYONE in the class). Remember this?
Yeah, poor Ralphie. Lisa broke his little booger filled heart. It was the best of intentions for her to give him a card – nobody else would. Broken hearts and promises at the ripe old age of Grade 2.
Junior High – the introduction of Harlequin Romances and heaving bosoms and throbbing manhoods. Girl meets boy (girl is usually blonde, blue eyed with perfect measurements; boy is tall, handsome, rich and a CEO of some giant corporation and had a sexy name like Rock or Thorne – there were no Bobs or Mikes in HR) and they would fall madly in love, have 2.5 kids and live in a house with a white picket fence. Ah…how romantic! I couldn’t wait for that to happen to ME!
(INSERT THE SCRATCH OF A NEEDLE ON AN ALBUM HERE – young people, look up ‘music album’ on Google)
My very first real boyfriend ever was in Grade 10. I thought it was going to last forever…well, it did until he dumped me for the school tramp. But that’s not in the Harlequin Romances! WTF?
My 20’s didn’t fare much better…met and fell in head over heels love with someone, only to find out (eventually) that he was engaged and dating several other women at the time. And then there was the guy who was married (that I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT) as he had a cell phone (this was back in the early 90’s when they looked like the shoe phone from Maxwell Smart (young people – look up ‘Maxwell Smart shoe phone on Google) and was always at my place). Then there was my ex brother in law’s brother (got that?) whom I was dating for a while – I went away for a couple of days to visit a friend and came back and found out he’d been sleeping with my roommate (that ended with me actually punching him the face and breaking my thumb). That was ALSO not in the romance novels. How about the guy I’d started seeing at work who failed to tell me he had Hepatitis B and that I only found out because the nice lady in Human Resources at the time, broke the confidentiality clause to tell me about it? And wasn’t that fun having to get shots and praying to the universe that I never started to exhibit signs of having it (thankfully – nothing so far). That was certainly NOT in any romance novel I’ve ever read.
So, I have to say: ROMANCE? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? The only thing I’ve ever received from a guy on Valentine’s Day was a card that said “Happy VD” on it. Flowers? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Jewelry? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Chocolate? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I’d put myself out there, only to get knocked down again, so at the ripe old age of about 40, I said SCREW IT! I’ve got a good life, great job, roof over my head, amazing friends – what more could I possibly need? (Okay, well the occasional night out would be nice, but meh – I have Netflix).
So yes, I’m a bit of a curmudgeon when it comes to Valentine’s Day and all its’ promises of love and romance. Me? You’ll find me curled up on the couch with a glass of wine, with my birds singing their little hearts out, as I watch a cheesy horror movie. But hey, feel free to slip me a Valentine’s Day card in the construction paper envelope I have hanging on my door